Aqui Estoy Yo! Afro Luterana: February 2017

Before I left the States for my year long missionary internship in Argentina, I bought this plain black T- shirt from a local campaign with names of oversexualized celebrities on the front. “Trina & Blac & Cardi & Kat & Amber & Karrine”, each name is a woman of color who has been constantly degraded to “hoe” for one reason or another. This is regardless to the careers/ accomplishments they created for themselves. Here we see the term hoe as a way to shame sex positive women for simply living their best life. On the back of the shirt, sitting below the neckline, in bold white font, reads “Pro Hoe.”

Pro- (prefix)
favoring; supporting***
Acting as a substitute or deputy for.
Denoting motion forwards, out, or away.

Hoe- (noun informal)
A prostitute
Offensive
A woman.

With two simple words, this shirt announces that one’s subversive belief is in fact okay to be a “hoe”. To be clear, it is not an endorsement for everyone to stop what they are doing and change their lifestyles but to stand in solidarity with those labeled hoe, usually for the simplest reason. There has been an ancient double standard with sexuality within the gender binary, where women continuously receive the short end of the stick, no matter their status. We are now in a period of time where enough of us feel empowered to vocalize the question of “why?” And reject the internalized misogyny much more than before.

Why do we use sexuality to shame women for simply existing? Why has society given so much power to a word just to shame a woman’s agency over her own body? Why do we associate hoe with negativity? In 2017, hoe is not just associated with sex for pay as the defined sex worker, formerly known as prostitute,above. Hoe is the default to just about anything a woman does that does not glorify the right people, usually subscribers of patriarchy.

She was a stripper.

We speculate that she has had sex with people for upward mobility.

She craves attention.

She has a sex tape with her at the time boyfriend that he exposed without her consent.
We decided the way she dresses doesn't deserve for her to be respected.

She had a child with her partner out of wedlock who then left the situation.

We are threatened by her ability to love herself.

While we may be guilty of casting our own stones at celebrity women, the shaming does not stop there. Today, like any other era, women are denounced to the category of hoe for any given reason. We are shamed as if sexual acts are one sided or if we weren't asked to do it in the first place by someone else. Women are first shamed for sex work before the population that places the multi- billion dollar sex work industry as a demand. We are shamed for controlling our bodies because no one ever rendered us to be competent enough to manage something we were birthed with. Our bodies are in high demand but our spirits are preferred to be discontinued. Yes, I wear my shirt with pride and I also want to remind those who are weary of clergy being pro- hoe as to why that's important to my biblical studies.

I am pro- hoe because Dinah of Genesis will not be the only young woman who will be raped with a father who will rather make it go away than seek justice. Because brothers now are more likely to ask “what were you wearing?” before trying to hold the rapist accountable. Because rapists like Brock Turner have a reputation to be protected but the unconscious woman outside of the fraternity house will have the stigma of being easy, out of control, irresponsible, and dirty. Her name will echo halls as “the hoe that got fucked by a swimmer” while his name will echo locker rooms as “just another young man that made a mistake.”

I am pro- hoe because Rahab of the book of Joshua will always be labeled as the prostitute instead of an independent homeowner who saved Joshua’s spies and risked her own life for the sake of man’s war. Regardless of how a woman has to support herself she is more likely to be belittled than uplifted. Because Blac Chyna, Cardi B, and Amber Rose will still be labeled as former strippers before entrepreneurs, rappers, actresses, or activists. Their hard work and need to provide for themselves and their families at young ages will always be overshadowed by the industry ran and celebrated by their male counterparts who prey on girls who need to provide for themselves and their families.

I am pro- hoe because of marginalized women like Esther are slammed for marrying into wealth not realizing they have their own battles to fight at the top. Imagine being a high profile wife to a man who believes in the extermination of your people. Because even though Melania Trump can be criticized for a number of things, the jokes always refer back to her provocative and bear naked modeling history and marrying a wealthy business man. Because if she was non-white, she would be labeled hoe before first lady as Ivy League Michelle was referred to as ape before human. But you're right, women like her are all gold diggers.

I am pro- hoe for the battling baby mothers like Leah and Rachel, Gen. 29, trying to outdo the other who were never told they didn't need to beef over a man or that children won't make someone love you any more. Because Love and Hip Hop’s Tara and Amina are no different from any other young mothers in our communities. Because there is always someone in the background calling them chicken heads for laying down with the same man over and over.Somehow a man’s infidelities is the result of women who should know better or who should love themselves more. Meanwhile they were shaped by the same culture who continues to reinforce a woman’s dependency of a man’s validation.

I am pro- hoe for mothers like Naomi, found in the book of Ruth, trying to teach their daughters like Ruth how to survive after losing their partner. For teaching that their entire self will bring them a spouse, work ethic and aesthetic. Yet still people try to overspeak the narrative to tell women to wait for their Boaz instead of telling them to be mothers like Naomi and care for children that you didn't birth because they too deserve the world. Because when we raise women to be be strong, independent, and competent, we label it as masculine and blame these women for destroying the community. Because they become single mothers by choice, right? Somehow until this mythical Boaz enters our lives we are just the promiscuous unsavable beings.

I am pro- hoe for women like Tamar, Gen. 38, who refuse to be written off. I am here for the women who have been called out of their name and remained poise in their response. I am here for the women confident enough in themselves to stand pregnant in a courtyard shaming the one who drew her into poverty. As she is like my young teenage muslim convert sisters who are promised to be taken care of as their partner forgets their very words when new life arrives into the work. Because if she takes him to court, she's spiteful. Because if she places him on child support, she is lazy. Hoe if you do, hoe if you don't.

I am pro- hoe because of baby mothers and wives like Hagar and Sarah, Gen. 16. Too often someone, a woman, is shamed for not being given the gift of marriage and the one who remains insecure in love. Because even amongst women, the baby mother will never be seen as good enough or adequate to the one who was “chosen” as if she was not chosen as well. Because Hagar gave birth to a prophet as well whose descendants continued to participate in the lives of Sarah’s descendants, many times saving them or guiding them to victory. This is a reminder of all the forgotten first children, the forgotten second family, also have gifts to bring into the story however they tend to be seen as “other”.

I am pro- hoe for the women like Jezebel in 1 Kings who take blame for a man’s inability to maintain himself rather than blaming the man for his own weakness to be of faith. Unlike other women on this list, she receives this honor due to power. She somehow managed to be not only the antagonist but one of the more influential women in her era. Jezebel’s influence was so great, her name today is the equivalence of hoe. Yet her story had nothing to do with sex but everything to do with her power to delegate, conquer, and colonize like any other man. Because Mary Kate Olsen is worth $300 million and was accused of marrying a Sugar Daddy. Meanwhile she has been a working actress since childhood and manages a number of successful businesses with her twin sister. Because Serena Williams is the greatest athlete in the world and people are still concerned with what qualified her to be seen as both beautiful and worthy to be in a Beyonce video. Why is a woman’s competence so threatening?

I am pro- hoe for the adulteress without their accusers present, as it takes two to tango- it takes two to cheat. I am pro- hoe for the women who are stoned, and stoned, and stoned for assumptions, accusations and speculations for existing. Because too often you get the title at times without even doing the deed. Because we start slut shaming in middle school because girls develop at different rates. Because hetero/bi men and boys want the glory of having sex with women and girls but they want to be able to shame women and girls who are willing to have sex with them as well. How many of us have been both convicted and convicting? One day we will be judged with justice before self proclaimed righteousness.

I am pro- hoe for Black Goddesses like Queen of Sheba, Kings 1, being loved so well, for love songs written about the other woman in ways never written about the first wife, second wife, third wife, or fourth. I am here for the confident woman feeling worthy of a Kings love and being unapologetic about it. I am here for the day where we can say for once that it's the man’s fault for ruining his own relationship even though we will never crucify him like Christ.

I am pro- hoe for the “Virgin” Mary's who needed an angel of God to validate she is worth a ring. Even a good woman doing the Lord's work still could not get past sexist double standards without divine intervention. Because every single day another girl/ woman is doubted because someone suggests her sexual or lack of sexual experience disqualifies her from love.

I am pro- hoe because my bible is full of hoes. Every single story projects the way in which women continued to be talked about and treated, however, these women were prophets and leaders. Your street hoe saved a nation. Your gold digging hoe prevented genocide. Your teen was the life giver to a Savior. I am pro hoe because Jesus teaches me to love my neighbor as myself. I will love the shamed as I have been shamed. To be a hoe is more than being sexual. It is the constant condemnation and judgement without moral guilt. Part of my teaching and tradition is to pursue the modern day gospel in the pages of the Bible and every single story is relatable to what is happening in our world today. Every whisper, every assault, every joke, every meme and Every stoning. They call us hoes to shame us, probably to stifle the greatness we are obviously descendants of, but the mother of our Savior would be called a hoe today. For me this is a reminder that sexuality cannot be equated with self worth or character. Virginity is a social construct used to oppress our youth. Sexuality belongs to the individual to claim. I find liberation in pro- hoe like I do in the cross. Cardi B may have not died and been resurrected for the salvation of sexual organs but someone was able to look at what was wrong in the world and committed to loving it unconditionally. Women are shamed for a number of reasons and I love them anyway regardless if it is true, false, relevant, outdated, problematic, or important. When I read the words pro- hoe I see someone sharing their belief of being in favor of a stigmatized marginal group and that matters. With that being said I shall remain pro- hoe.

#ReclaimMissionary

"Fear not when, fear not why

Fear not much while we're alive

Life is for living not living uptight

See ya somewhere up in the sky,

Fear not die, I'll be alive for a million years,

bye bye

So not for legends, I'm forever young

My name shall survive"

- Jay Z, Forever Young

The day has finally arrived when I can officially say I am in the midst of a Quarter- Life Crisis. It's a milestone year for some, the middle of your twenties, the halfway point to fifty, the third of a way to seventy five, oh my! It is like watching a loading screen and seeing that 25% of your life movie has downloaded. While it may feel like twenty five is still an acceptable point to cancel your movie (as the average age of suicide is 15-24), there is still so much to look forward to while we are alive.

In a previous post I shared a bit about my sobriety which I would think has suggested already that I have lived a somewhat hardy life. Though reflecting on my trials and tribulations has made me a better person, so has many of my triumphs and joys. So I came up with a list of twenty five accomplishments/ experiences I had by twenty five.

When my parents were still wise with only four children 1992

Flown in a helicopter around a Hawaiian Volcano
Elected President of a National Organization

MAC and I in our first Chicago meeting 2009
Given an official greeting at Churchwide Assembly
Played a DI college sport

NEC Spring Finals throwers faking injuries 2010
Was a guetspeaker at a regional youth gathering
Watched my niece enter the world

Nya Shey and Nicolette Marie (a few minutes old) 1/16/11
GLAAD published a blog post by me.
Met the Angela Davis

Angela Davis was the keynote speaker at Black Solidarity Conference at Yale University circa Feb. 2012
Caused a serious car accident
Been to jail
Curated a marketing photoshoot for a small business
Completed my BA

Living my best life 5/24/13 BA graduation
Published in a tattoo magazine

Photo by Meshae Studios
Visited 26 out of 50 states in the country
Completed my MBA

5/23/14 MBA Graduation on bestfriend and mother's birthday
Finally moved out of New York
Publicly protested for something I believe in
Adopted my first pet

The Penne Pablo
Worked in 4 different states
Traveled to 4 different continents

Congress meeting room in El Salvador Jan 2015
Moved to a different country
Preached and teached in a different language
Made it to more than four years of sobriety

Photo taken 10/25/16
Traveled to over 20 countries and territories

Flight from Caracus to Bogota Memorial Day Weekend 2016
Started my last semester of seminary before Spring 2017 graduation.

Face swapped with Richard Allen during Methodist tour

For me this is a reminder as to why I keep going. This tends to be the age where a lot of us wonder what the heck we have been doing the past few years. We question whether or not we are on the right track or if we have anything worth being proud over. I know I start getting that feeling when I see some of my friends from college settling down and flourishing in their careers. Or even when I am watching a movie and find out the lead is younger than me. Personally I can't help but wonder what I have been doing with my life or if this track is worth it. Sometimes you just gotta take a seat and count your blessings. Victories come in all shapes and sizes, we just need to be willing to see them for what they are. Hopefully twenty five is as good to me as the first twenty four.