I remember the first time I sipped Yerba Mate. It was back in the States actually, in the home of my friend Jackie whose family is of Paraguayo descent. Her brother offered me this wood like cup with a metal pipe. He poured water into it as what look like tea leaves floated around. It was strange. I was no older than 18, maybe even 16. It might have been that same day we spoke about her Paraguayo heritage as she mentioned speaking Guarani. I must have been 16 because at the time I could not even process South Americans not speaking Spanish or Portugese. There were Native Americans that were not from the United States? What a concept.
It was both a reflection of the poor public school system and my own inability at the time to think critically. This may be one of the most distinct times I recall being completely ignorant to Latin American history. For so many years New York State and U.S. History had been drilled into my head while I lived amongst a community of people from all over Latin America and the Caribbean. Essentially I knew almost nothing about their cultures aside from the foods their grandmothers fed me and the languages/ dialects in which their parents disciplined their children. Needless to say it was always a treat when someone was willing to humble me by their life experiences.This though is not about the poor global education we provide our students. I introduced this post with a distant memory of my friend Jackie because she has been on my mind throughout this enire journey. Claro que si Argentina y Paraguay are completely different countries but the two share a large amount of history, some cultural practices such as Mate, and of course an immigration story.
To be very clear, I never knew the exact reasons why Jackie's parents migrated to the States. Paraguayos were not very common in my community either so the only interactions I had to the narrative were through her. All I really gathered was that her mother was deeply involved with the Paraguayo- American community and her and her brother were two of the most brilliant and talented high school students I knew. Then I came to Argentina where the two most commonly discussed immigrant groups were Bolivianos y Paraguayos, both commonly associated with their indigenous culture. I learned the stereotypical jobs they did in Buenos Aires before I learned the capitals of each country. My Facebook timeline began to incorporate more anti-immigrant propaganda as I began to add more Argentines. One night over a family dinner, a local friend then explained to me the War of Triple Alliance, Guerra de la Triple Alianza, or the Paraguayan War. Argentina, Brazil, and Uruguay fought again Paraguay's 19th century dictator, Lopez, for roughly five- six years. There were regimes of twelve year old Paraguayo boys defending the honor of the dictator. Hundreds of thousands of boys and men were killed sending Paraguay into a population crisis. The entire race of people were almost exterminated. Sure that was the mid 19th century but let's be honest, how does one expect an already small country to handle a crisis like that especially after war?
Recently I had the chance to catch up with this old friend of mine after a number of years of social media spectating. Around the same time I announced my plans for Argentina, Jackie had also announced her PeaceCorps plans to go back to Paraguay in February 2017. We had not spoken directly in a while so I had imagined this to be a bittersweet experience for her since the last time she went to her family's home for a summer, she loved it. Paraguayan American who speaks perfect Spanish and Guarani makes a two year commitment to go back to her roots and serve those who share her ancestors. Picture perfect right? Well, those plans were cancelled for a number of reasons and Jackie did not seem too hung up about not going back to Paraguay either. I had admitted to her that she was a major inspiration to me during my time here as she was an example of the dream almost any immigrant parents have for their children. She was a thriving college graduate heading to graduate school on a full scholarship. All while her mother worked every and any job she Paraguayos are simultaneously stereotyped as your fruit and veggies vendor as well as lazy and unemployed. Though I don't need her existence to affirm that this is a lie, Jackie reminds me of the parents that had to endure these judgements to ensure prosperity for their children. People are crossing boarders and crossing waters for a reason.
That is not all that had changed over time. To my surprise my former young atheist friend found Christ this past year, something I would have never expected. She shared with me the power of prayer that overtaken her during a phone call with another Divinity student friend. She shared with me about seeing God in her dream and the obstacles that had soon made her a believer. Her testimony moved me to tears. While I begin the downhill trek of my time abroad, Jackie begins her own personal journey with faith. Part of this journey looks like asking her friends to take her to their special places of worship and connecting with folks about their denomination. Eventually we began to talk about Lutheranism."I just want a tradition that is cool with science, homosexuality, and premarital sex." If you did not know what my friend base looks like, this is a great example. We agreed to keep up this conversation and talk more about God and the world. I look forward to her formation.
Thank God for the richness that comes with my hometown, the blessings of friendships I developed as a child, and the wealth I gain in knowledge because of them. This is an odd conversation to reflect on and probably one of my more discombobulated posts. I guess this is one of those moments when things come into full circle and I am still trying to process it. Today I am learning.
#ReclaimMissionary
Wednesday, March 22, 2017
Thursday, March 16, 2017
Who's Bishop Is That Anyway?
Captain's Log: March 14th, 2016
Like normal, I receive a fairly late voice message on my day off by my supervisor with the standard next day urgence.
"Recuerda vestir tu clergywoman. . .jajajaj besitos" (Remember to wear your clergy shirt hahaha xoxo)
I laugh hard as it was in reference to the last time Tranquilo IELU all wore clerical collars that one time to an event while I arrived in a tee shirt. When I first arrived here, normally I was the overdressed vicar in all black. She mentions us receiving the Bishop of Hungary but I am more amazed that anyone from the Cedes is willing to drive all the way out to little ole Grand Bourg, let alone show off our quaint building. Considering there were three other Buenos Aires located IELU schools, rarely do we get to be on display.
10:00AM came however my colleagues did not. I do my normal rounds in the highschool and elementary school then make my way back to the office. Familiar voices come about; Miguel the General Director, Gustavo the IELU President, and soon after I hear Pastor Alan and my supervisor, Eva. She comes into the office, grabs the keys and heads to the Temple. Do I follow? I am so bad with non-verbal signals.
If I want to get to the Temple I need to cross the sea of children or rather the patio during recess. In the midst of the student tsunami stands a roughly 6'2 European man in a tie, a white button down shirt, and khakis while holding a very nice Nikon camera. I assume this is the Bishop we have been so eager to greet. Wait, are we speaking English or Spanish? Get it together Nic.
He greets me like a Westerner with a firm handshake and a request to take my photo with the children. You can tell he is very excited to be here. Truthfully, I too am happy to make his aquaintance. Six and a half years prior, while working at Lutherhill Outdoor Ministries in Texas, I met a Hungarian Lutheran and we became very close since we were the two progressive non Texans at camp. Over the years we stayed in touch and I later went to Budapest to visit him. Aside from absolutely loving the beautiful capital city, my friend inspired my Senior Thesis about the historical oppression of the Roma community in Hungary. For about five months my life revolved around Hungarian and Roma- Hungarian history. In fact, the following year I was in the process of applying for YAGM in Hungary to experience all that I had studied. Unfortunately I missed the deadline. For me, this encounter brings a bit full circle some of my previous life experience and rekindles a feeling of endearment towards something I once consumed.
Bishop Tamas Fabiny is a new Lutheran fave. He is a published theologian and fluent in three different languages; Hungarian, German, and English. BP Fabiny adores his daughters as anytime a child was remotely close to their ages he always made a reference to it. He is liked very much by my good friend and he is very committed to faith, education, and service. His church body does incredible work with the Roma community as well as other marginalized bodies. He is also a Vice President (I believe) of the Lutheran World Federation. Did I mention he enjoys coffee as much as I do? We're basically on track to be best friends in another ten years.
Ok, I might be stretching it.
Together we all tour the Grand Bourg school where he gets a good look at the unfinished 500 year mural in our indoor patio. (HYPE MOMENT) My art went international this year and is now being internationally viewed. AH! We take a turn towards the elementary school to check out some classrooms. Some of my lovely students still linger in the halls. The trip is not quite over as they invite me to eat lunch with the group in our neighboring Senior Center Armbruster. A major component to the Bishop's trip is exploring Hungarian heritage in Argentina. I learn quickly how influential the Hungarian Lutheran community was in the development of other Lutheran social programs here. They highlight certain shields and symbols in the hogar and a photo of the Hungarian Pastor that once served here. We speak to Hungarian elderly folk and BP Fabiny engages in a conversation with a older woman in pure German. Iconic. If that is not enough, we visit the other Lutheran School around the corner where Juan Pablo, the General Director, us also the son of another Hungarian Lutheran Pastor. To bring this full circle for our viewers at home, Juan Pablo's father was the former pastor in Grand Bourg.
I wish I can keep count of how many times I wanted to splurt irrelevant Hungarian words to reinforce my admiration of his country. Now I see why Argentines will say a few phrases in english when I tell them I am from New York. It takes everything in me not to fully embarass myself. That is quite a hard task. The Bishop and I tour the school with Juan Pablo. As many times as I have visited the institution, this too is my first time around the building. I find it interesting that BP Fabiny is experiencing these two very distinct Lutheran schools, Grand Bourg and Jose C. Paz as they clash aesthetically and financially. Within 3 miles of each other the two IEAs vary signficiantly in size and structures however both obviously embody the core Lutheran values of IELU. In reality they also put into perspective the very dramatic economic dispartiy amongst towns out here. Coming from racially and economically segregated Long Island, rarely does one see a street with such distinct differences door to door. In many ways it reminds me of Philadelphia and seeing well kept homes spaced out by abandon houses and broken windows. In the car ride we talk about how recently most of these roads have been paced and how many dirt roads are still in my area. I thought my side of the railroad tracks was well paved until I walked six six blocks further than my house. Oh. . yea, we still have work to do. I am not sure how much the Bishop picks up on although he asks a lot of questions about drugs and alocholism amongst students and their families in both Grand Bourg and Jose C. Paz. I wonder what his school system is like.
The day of accompaniment ends with hugs and signs of thankfulness. BP Fabiny hands all of us pins of the Lutheran Shield from his motherland. They are all beautiful. We take final photos together. I am elated. There has been a lot of Lutheran things I have done in the past but this might be on the top of my list until the Reformation. Regardless I am thankful. I am amazed at how I can go to Chile and spend the evening with the Bishop staff or fly to Texas and meet Lutherans from Europe. I love the connection we share through baptism and our similar understanding of justification. This is special.
#ReclaimMissionary
Like normal, I receive a fairly late voice message on my day off by my supervisor with the standard next day urgence.
"Recuerda vestir tu clergywoman. . .jajajaj besitos" (Remember to wear your clergy shirt hahaha xoxo)
I laugh hard as it was in reference to the last time Tranquilo IELU all wore clerical collars that one time to an event while I arrived in a tee shirt. When I first arrived here, normally I was the overdressed vicar in all black. She mentions us receiving the Bishop of Hungary but I am more amazed that anyone from the Cedes is willing to drive all the way out to little ole Grand Bourg, let alone show off our quaint building. Considering there were three other Buenos Aires located IELU schools, rarely do we get to be on display.
10:00AM came however my colleagues did not. I do my normal rounds in the highschool and elementary school then make my way back to the office. Familiar voices come about; Miguel the General Director, Gustavo the IELU President, and soon after I hear Pastor Alan and my supervisor, Eva. She comes into the office, grabs the keys and heads to the Temple. Do I follow? I am so bad with non-verbal signals.
If I want to get to the Temple I need to cross the sea of children or rather the patio during recess. In the midst of the student tsunami stands a roughly 6'2 European man in a tie, a white button down shirt, and khakis while holding a very nice Nikon camera. I assume this is the Bishop we have been so eager to greet. Wait, are we speaking English or Spanish? Get it together Nic.
He greets me like a Westerner with a firm handshake and a request to take my photo with the children. You can tell he is very excited to be here. Truthfully, I too am happy to make his aquaintance. Six and a half years prior, while working at Lutherhill Outdoor Ministries in Texas, I met a Hungarian Lutheran and we became very close since we were the two progressive non Texans at camp. Over the years we stayed in touch and I later went to Budapest to visit him. Aside from absolutely loving the beautiful capital city, my friend inspired my Senior Thesis about the historical oppression of the Roma community in Hungary. For about five months my life revolved around Hungarian and Roma- Hungarian history. In fact, the following year I was in the process of applying for YAGM in Hungary to experience all that I had studied. Unfortunately I missed the deadline. For me, this encounter brings a bit full circle some of my previous life experience and rekindles a feeling of endearment towards something I once consumed.
Bishop Tamas Fabiny is a new Lutheran fave. He is a published theologian and fluent in three different languages; Hungarian, German, and English. BP Fabiny adores his daughters as anytime a child was remotely close to their ages he always made a reference to it. He is liked very much by my good friend and he is very committed to faith, education, and service. His church body does incredible work with the Roma community as well as other marginalized bodies. He is also a Vice President (I believe) of the Lutheran World Federation. Did I mention he enjoys coffee as much as I do? We're basically on track to be best friends in another ten years.
Ok, I might be stretching it.
Together we all tour the Grand Bourg school where he gets a good look at the unfinished 500 year mural in our indoor patio. (HYPE MOMENT) My art went international this year and is now being internationally viewed. AH! We take a turn towards the elementary school to check out some classrooms. Some of my lovely students still linger in the halls. The trip is not quite over as they invite me to eat lunch with the group in our neighboring Senior Center Armbruster. A major component to the Bishop's trip is exploring Hungarian heritage in Argentina. I learn quickly how influential the Hungarian Lutheran community was in the development of other Lutheran social programs here. They highlight certain shields and symbols in the hogar and a photo of the Hungarian Pastor that once served here. We speak to Hungarian elderly folk and BP Fabiny engages in a conversation with a older woman in pure German. Iconic. If that is not enough, we visit the other Lutheran School around the corner where Juan Pablo, the General Director, us also the son of another Hungarian Lutheran Pastor. To bring this full circle for our viewers at home, Juan Pablo's father was the former pastor in Grand Bourg.
I wish I can keep count of how many times I wanted to splurt irrelevant Hungarian words to reinforce my admiration of his country. Now I see why Argentines will say a few phrases in english when I tell them I am from New York. It takes everything in me not to fully embarass myself. That is quite a hard task. The Bishop and I tour the school with Juan Pablo. As many times as I have visited the institution, this too is my first time around the building. I find it interesting that BP Fabiny is experiencing these two very distinct Lutheran schools, Grand Bourg and Jose C. Paz as they clash aesthetically and financially. Within 3 miles of each other the two IEAs vary signficiantly in size and structures however both obviously embody the core Lutheran values of IELU. In reality they also put into perspective the very dramatic economic dispartiy amongst towns out here. Coming from racially and economically segregated Long Island, rarely does one see a street with such distinct differences door to door. In many ways it reminds me of Philadelphia and seeing well kept homes spaced out by abandon houses and broken windows. In the car ride we talk about how recently most of these roads have been paced and how many dirt roads are still in my area. I thought my side of the railroad tracks was well paved until I walked six six blocks further than my house. Oh. . yea, we still have work to do. I am not sure how much the Bishop picks up on although he asks a lot of questions about drugs and alocholism amongst students and their families in both Grand Bourg and Jose C. Paz. I wonder what his school system is like.
The day of accompaniment ends with hugs and signs of thankfulness. BP Fabiny hands all of us pins of the Lutheran Shield from his motherland. They are all beautiful. We take final photos together. I am elated. There has been a lot of Lutheran things I have done in the past but this might be on the top of my list until the Reformation. Regardless I am thankful. I am amazed at how I can go to Chile and spend the evening with the Bishop staff or fly to Texas and meet Lutherans from Europe. I love the connection we share through baptism and our similar understanding of justification. This is special.
 |
| Budapest and New York together in Buenos Aires #GlobalChurch |
#ReclaimMissionary
Friday, March 3, 2017
Internship: The Countdown Continues
There is nothing worse than sitting amongst your lay person committee as they prepare to drag you in your six month evaluation.
Correction:
There is nothing worse than sitting amongst your lay person committee as they prepare to drag you IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE IN THAT YOU ARE NOT FULLY FLUENT in your six month evaluation.
The group is together with snacks and drinks commencing for the first time in over two months as the summer has prevented all forms of congregating from occurring. Literally. There was no worship, school, or women's group since December. Silence fell dead in the community as the hot Buenos Aires sun oppressed us. After weeks of carefree office hours and trips to the Churchwide Offices, I now had to clean up and present myself infront of four wonderful members who for the next two hours were going to be one of the greatest judges I would encounter over the next two years.
It is triggering to say the least as I had flash backs of my first candidacy interview where I left in tears eating chocolate covered pretzels and raw cookie dough on my way to my mentor's house in the Hamptons. Granted, most of this is my anxiety but it made no difference in the moment. A group of people unknowingly have a significant amount of power in the next stages of my life. Whether or not I am aware and confident in my competency I have heard horror stories of synods who refuse to approve candidates that have unflattering internship reports. You go through seminary hearing about horrifying approval meetings every year and thinking, "Jesus Christ please don't let that be me." This is stressful. I have not had a complaint about my job so far and still I can feel my heart racing. For now I will just sit at the end of this table and play dead until the meeting concludes.
Sitting with your lay committee during evaluations is like being the Guest of Honor at a Comedy Central roast. It is like being in a constant state of Michael Jordan crying meme. Sitting with your lay committee during evaluations is the equivalence of Roger from Sister Sister, Steve Urkle from Family Matters, and Jazzy Jeff from Fresh Prince of Bel- Air publicly embarassing you before you have to do the walk of shame across the school auditorium. If this experience was a movie scene, it would be when Regina George from Mean Girls tells Cady "you're really pretty" and after Cady thanks her she snaps back, "so you agree, you think you're really pretty."
Now this is not even to paint the committee as a bully or your worst enemy. Again, most of this is my own anxiety. Truth is I probably should not be so concerned because I know the quality of work I do as does any other intern. I also have fairly good working relationships with all members of the committee as well. If anything these are the most qualified people to speak on my behalf. Maybe it is also the very critical lense I place myself under trying to navigate a relatively unfamiliar space. Or perhaps it is because the obstacles I encounter here are quite different from my previous contexts. Earlier in the year I mentioned the language barrier as a frustration. While I have gotten much better, there is still the hestiation at times to immerse myself deeper into church culture and handle certain situations independently. Yup, it is definitely me in my own head.
My committee is a little unique to others as they are not ELCA Lutherans so most of the language used to evaluate me is very strange and obsessive to them.
Correction:
There is nothing worse than sitting amongst your lay person committee as they prepare to drag you IN ANOTHER LANGUAGE IN THAT YOU ARE NOT FULLY FLUENT in your six month evaluation.
The group is together with snacks and drinks commencing for the first time in over two months as the summer has prevented all forms of congregating from occurring. Literally. There was no worship, school, or women's group since December. Silence fell dead in the community as the hot Buenos Aires sun oppressed us. After weeks of carefree office hours and trips to the Churchwide Offices, I now had to clean up and present myself infront of four wonderful members who for the next two hours were going to be one of the greatest judges I would encounter over the next two years.
It is triggering to say the least as I had flash backs of my first candidacy interview where I left in tears eating chocolate covered pretzels and raw cookie dough on my way to my mentor's house in the Hamptons. Granted, most of this is my anxiety but it made no difference in the moment. A group of people unknowingly have a significant amount of power in the next stages of my life. Whether or not I am aware and confident in my competency I have heard horror stories of synods who refuse to approve candidates that have unflattering internship reports. You go through seminary hearing about horrifying approval meetings every year and thinking, "Jesus Christ please don't let that be me." This is stressful. I have not had a complaint about my job so far and still I can feel my heart racing. For now I will just sit at the end of this table and play dead until the meeting concludes.
Sitting with your lay committee during evaluations is like being the Guest of Honor at a Comedy Central roast. It is like being in a constant state of Michael Jordan crying meme. Sitting with your lay committee during evaluations is the equivalence of Roger from Sister Sister, Steve Urkle from Family Matters, and Jazzy Jeff from Fresh Prince of Bel- Air publicly embarassing you before you have to do the walk of shame across the school auditorium. If this experience was a movie scene, it would be when Regina George from Mean Girls tells Cady "you're really pretty" and after Cady thanks her she snaps back, "so you agree, you think you're really pretty."
Now this is not even to paint the committee as a bully or your worst enemy. Again, most of this is my own anxiety. Truth is I probably should not be so concerned because I know the quality of work I do as does any other intern. I also have fairly good working relationships with all members of the committee as well. If anything these are the most qualified people to speak on my behalf. Maybe it is also the very critical lense I place myself under trying to navigate a relatively unfamiliar space. Or perhaps it is because the obstacles I encounter here are quite different from my previous contexts. Earlier in the year I mentioned the language barrier as a frustration. While I have gotten much better, there is still the hestiation at times to immerse myself deeper into church culture and handle certain situations independently. Yup, it is definitely me in my own head.
My committee is a little unique to others as they are not ELCA Lutherans so most of the language used to evaluate me is very strange and obsessive to them.
"How would you describe the intern's sense of their "call to ministry"?
1. Why is my internship committee asked to describe MY sense to MY call?
2. How are they suppose to even range that? It seems to be assuming an intern is publicly announcing their sense of their call quite often. Chances are by mid year, they don't even know why they signed up for this.
3. Why is that a question?
As the group went through these butchered translations of evaluation questions, the chair person and I would exchange looks of "are these questions for real?"
"yeah girl. . . I know. . .I know." They felt repetitive and at times unnecessary especially since both church bodies have different church cultures. The ELCA has a bureaucratic body that produces resources that define our mission and vision along with church language both real and alternative: "missional." IELU is not as concerned with these types of things as their mission is a five point strategic plan grounded more in action than language. Until this past year IELU pastors graduated from a promising and academically vigorous seminary with an education and formation process they trusted enough to make good pastors. The ELCA on the other hand does not have the same guarantee on pastoral education and formation as our pool (candidates/ seminaries/ church contexts/ etc) is much deeper. Both experiences are great. It just creates an interesting dynamic when asking one to evaluate the other. But drag on my friends. . . drag on.
Evaluations in groups always make me feel weird especially when you are waiting for someone to come for your neck. Maybe it is just me but I expect evaluations and critiques to be ruthless. Let's be honest, it is just me. However we all persevered through the tedious task of Intern dragging and truthfully it was a bit affirming. For me it was more about my members being able to see my impact as a non-spanish speaking individual. Often times I fear what I say or do gets lost in translation but apparently it manages to overcome that obstacle.
Goals for this half of the year:
- Finish the H.S. mural
- Complete Internship Project
- Complete #LiberadoYSinMiedo Lenten Devotional
- Continue Merienda Miercoles (English Practice Group)
- Launch Service Futbol Torneo with the H.S.
- Introduce a collection of stewardship resources to the congregation
#ReclaimMissionary
Writings By Nic
So it may seem that I have been a little irregular recently with maintaining my blog. This is true. There was a very odd period of nothing happening and everything happening all at once. Not much happens in the church over the summer here which has led me to getting involved in more domestic affairs. Needless to say, I have still been writing. In an upcoming post I will talk more about my internship experience however in the mean time I will leave you with a list of other blog contributions I have made while away.
In other news, I was recommended to be interviewed by Living Lutheran, missionaries edition to speak about the Horizon International Program. While I am thankful to have been thought of, I do wish the article better captured the program. But that is neither here nor there as I have posted a bit about that on my social media.
As I said, I'll go further into details in another post about life so far but for now here are a few good reading materials. For those who also enjoy the spanish language, there is also a #LiberadoYSinMiedo Lenten Devotional in the works best found here #LiberadoYSinMiedo
#TreasuresofDarkness Devotional Series
Day 9: Wandering in Darkness
Day 28: Burnished Bronze Feet
Lutheran Theological Seminary at Philadelphia "Voices of Public Theology" Blog
8 Reasons Not To Do An International Internship
Vicars Call In The Era of Trump
Clergy And Social Media
Clergy Shirts, Pumps, and Lipstick
One Thing I Learned In Seminary
How To With Decaon Faison: Field Sites
Advice for Single Seminarians
Racial Injustice and the Church
CPE: The Experience You Never Knew You Needed
#ReclaimMissionary
In other news, I was recommended to be interviewed by Living Lutheran, missionaries edition to speak about the Horizon International Program. While I am thankful to have been thought of, I do wish the article better captured the program. But that is neither here nor there as I have posted a bit about that on my social media.
As I said, I'll go further into details in another post about life so far but for now here are a few good reading materials. For those who also enjoy the spanish language, there is also a #LiberadoYSinMiedo Lenten Devotional in the works best found here #LiberadoYSinMiedo
#TreasuresofDarkness Devotional Series
Day 9: Wandering in Darkness
Day 28: Burnished Bronze Feet
Lutheran Theological Seminary at Philadelphia "Voices of Public Theology" Blog
8 Reasons Not To Do An International Internship
Vicars Call In The Era of Trump
Clergy And Social Media
Clergy Shirts, Pumps, and Lipstick
One Thing I Learned In Seminary
How To With Decaon Faison: Field Sites
Advice for Single Seminarians
Racial Injustice and the Church
CPE: The Experience You Never Knew You Needed
#ReclaimMissionary
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