"You can't swing a cat without hitting a Lutheran."- Red State Proverb
In a few months I will go through my final stages of the ELCA Candidacy Process. The Metro New York Candidacy committee will look over my profile one last time. They will read my 20+ page written with care essay that breaks down my understanding of Lutheranism, the ELCA, word and sacrament ministry along with a splash of other ministerial topics that the church found interesting this year. The committee will review my faculty approval, all of my internship evaluation forms, my promising transcript, and any other piece of information they require from me. Based on how I have been performing, I feel very good about this part. My pending approval will send me to the next step of the ELCA assembly line into the assignment. That is the part of the process where most people are women, LGBTQ, POC, disabled etc are left in limbo. Eventually I will speed date with 65 Bishops that will never hire me or will not have a congregation in their synod that will accept me. I will fill out paperwork with personal assessments about my ministry interests and location preferences. There will be a choice of three preferred regions or you can simply check off "No Restrictions." The ELCA draft will then commence as other approved candidates and I will be separated first by region and later on by synod after the Bishops sort through our profiles. Eventually I will be given a church where I will interview and audition. Much like Tinder, if we both swipe Right apparently it's a match. Of course this match could take months, if not years.
If you spoke to me forty eight hours ago and asked me where I would like to serve in the church, I would have told you I am not restricting myself. In fact, I had this conversation with the Nebraska Synod reps when they came to visit IELU. They assured me there were plenty of churches available and jestingly said "Remember, 4A", meaning I should request to come to the Nebraska Synod. For a moment I felt hopeful. The encounter was a reminder that when God moves you, She moves you with purpose. Maybe landlocked ministry was my purpose. During undergrad I had served at Lutherhill outdoor ministry in La Grange, Texas where I was first exposed to the rural context. This was the first time I had lived outside of New York. After serving all ethnic groups, all social classes, and all ages, I realized that my gifts were applicable to more than just an urban context. Six years later I did a preach and teach in Lancaster County Pennsylvania about being an ally to people of color. During my time in town I spoke with members of the church about very tangible evangelism and youth projects the congregation can engage in to develop attendance. Again, there was that spark of hope.
Then election night came and I sat in the church office shading a portrait of Martin Luther as the results came in. Slowly but surely states began to light up. Unlike previous years this was not merely a choice of better politics. Where as one candidate reflected the same corruption the U.S. has dealt with in government for over two hundred years, while another one was endorsed by the Ku Klux Klan. The U.S. map lit up red as if Americans were painting their states with the blood of the lamb for the White Man's Messiah to passover. At first I was uncomfortable. Then I became wear. Around 1am my weariness transitioned into concern. He had taken Ohio.
Earlier that day my Lutheran Hungarian friend had just pleaded with his U.S. friends to be conscious about their vote:
"Dear American friends, although today is your national election, but the outcomes will influence the lives of billions of other people, who cannot take part in your vote (I know, it sucks to be so big), so please choose wisely. Please don't elect a man to be your wise leader, who argues like a five-year-old and can never admit when he is wrong! Please don't vote for a man, who doesn't even know when he is offending women, or minorities, or other groups of our society! Please don’t make a man president, who cannot even unite his own party, let alone the country, or the western world. Please don't make a man the leader of the free world, who wants to put journalists in prison, or who openly supports Vladimir Putin (who not only invades other countries, but doesn't even have the guts to admit it i.e.: Crimea). And even more don't vote for a man, who is supported by Vladimir Putin, a man supporting the bloody regime of Syria, a man whose army is constantly bombing innocent civilians in Syria! (It should raise questions in your head, why this man is supporting Trump!) And most importantly, please don't make a man Commander-in-chief, who says he would not defend Americas Eastern European allies, who - when asked by the US - fought side-by-side with your military in Afghanistan and Iraq. This man does not respect the veterans, this man does not respect honesty, this man does not respect democracy! If you make him president, you are betraying everything your country has ever stood for, everything it has fought for! So please do everything you can, to stop him become president! The beauty of democracy is that even one vote can make things a whole different! The decision might be yours, but we all have to deal with the consequences!"
I had read other statuses of my undocumented friends, my friends who recently received work visas, trans and queer friends, hijab wearing friends, and friends also serving abroad right now asking their Facebook friends to think of their safety today. Friends posted statuses with photos of recent hate crimes they personally experienced while sharing stories from others. It reminded me of all those photos of small black children offering free hugs to teach police officers that they are not to be feared. In 2016 we are still trying to prove our value as humans to other people. Still people looked at our suffering, our grieving, our pleading, and said to us " that is nice but the emails. . ."
As the states lit up in red during a campaign that enabled sexual assault, rape, racism, xenophobia, Islamaphobia, homophobia, misogyny, and violence, my stomach churned. In one swoop Texas to North Dakota turned red as Minnesota and Illinois hung their like strange fruit. The Red Sea I was looking at is also home to the majority of my denomination. But we have social statements about racial justice, abortion, human sexuality, health care, and peace. With all the money we spend on national assemblies to clear up our politics, you would think the return on investment would show in our elections. In reality, while only 23% of the U.S. population is located in the Midwest, 51% of ELCA Lutherans are located in the Midwest (64% of LCMS Lutherans live in the Midwest). That includes the state of North Dakota where Indigenous Sioux people are combating big business for clean water in their territory as promised in a treaty from 1857. The Midwest also includes the very Lutheran Minnesota where Philando Castile was murdered in front of his daughter by the police. I am curious what gospel our pastors will preach on Sunday.
It was close to 4:47 in the morning when it was confirmed, he had taken the U.S. and he had taken the values of our nation with it. I messaged my Lutheran Hungarian friend with apologies and repentance for the injustices committed by the U.S. I am sorry my friend. We failed you. We failed ourselves. While he who shall not be named may not turn out to be the president that he campaigned to be, his supporters will be the problems to all marginal groups that they promised to uphold. Like many of us, I am hurt. We are in a state with a very conservative executive branch, a conservative legislative branch, and potentially a conservative judicial branch as two spots are presently available to be appointed by the president elect. In a country where we depend on checks and balances to remain order amongst our government, how do we remain order if everyone is on the same team? I am thousands of miles away and still fear for my life. I can only imagine what pain my communities bear.
If you were to ask me where I would like to serve in the church, I would laugh at your question. At this point I do not even know if I am called to serve a church in the U.S. right now. As the ELCA develops their plans to adjust the assignment process in order to best place pastors in synods with church openings, these same vacant churches are products of baby boomers. They are located in most of the same territories that would rather build an economy catered to big businesses than allow people to live without fearing for their lives. Today alone, I have read more stories about hate crimes across the country than I have this entire year. Can we as church expect any non- White able body heterosexual male to serve in these contexts as danger has now presented itself for all of those who do not meet this criteria. If we will reasonably pull queer people from serving in an African context, we should be equally cautious with sending our marginalized ministers into fascist territories. With this reality, that then forces us out into the costs where congregations tend to be minimal and those that are vacant are financially incapable of supporting a pastor. Compromise for a part time call where you struggle to support yourself or begin the waiting process with other equally gifted clergy?
I will not die serving a church that will not vote for me to live.
This morning I was greeted with embraces and messages of support from my friends here in Argentina. I spaced out during meetings and excused myself for some self care time. Students and staffed asked me how I felt after the elections. I had to speak on something I was struggling to fully digest. There were times I just asked for the TVs to be turned off. It was bad enough that Argentina was already struggling with their version of our president-elect.
 |
| "Congrats to @realDonaldTrump in your triumph and I hope that we can work together for the good of our communities"-President Mauricio Macri |
Do we matter to you yet?
#ReclaimMissionary
No comments:
Post a Comment